My lips begin to tremble. Inhale. Breathe. Warm tears cascade down my face. Breathe. I try wiping them away with the corner of my sleeve. A slow burn stings my eyes as my vision starts to blur. Breathe. I reach up and wipe away the tears from my eyes as I see Amy spin around and say "Raggedy man, goodbye" and vanish. The Doctor screams and my heart breaks.
It's easy to say it's just a television show and none of this is real. For those special few who get so enraptured in their books or their stories, a part of it feels real. We live vicariously through these characters so that briefly we don't need to live within our world. It's an escape and for some a sanctuary. There are enough of us out there that when people talk about reaching the end of your favourite story, you are left alone wondering what to do with yourself. It is almost like a part of you needs to mourn the loss no matter how silly that may sound.
Sometimes we delve into these stories, because it brings a sense of clarity to our own lives. No matter how far fetched the story may seem, there is always something that connects us to it. I can think of many times I've watched Desperate Housewives or even Lost and then turned to my husband and apologized. He would ask why are you apologizing? Sometimes I would smile and say "I had no idea women were so crazy" and other times it would be a situation or train of thought that at one time I thought made sense, but hearing it aloud from a separate person it offered a different perspective. I'm not sure I would go so far as to say shows can change lives, but I do think they can open us up to things we may not have considered and our choices after that can lead us down a different path.
Doctor Who always seems to arrive when I am vulnerable and yet the stories feel cathartic. The Power of Three and The Angels Take Manhattan are so beautifully written with the saddest farewells.
The pain begins slowly when Brian asks the Doctor what happens to his companions. "Some left me. Some got left behind. Some, but not many, some died. Not them, not them Brian, never them." The words almost seem prolific in their sadness. When we see the Doctor tell his loved ones that he misses them, a part of us knows how much we will miss them too.
Chris wrote a scene that not only speaks for Amy and the Doctor, but you could read it as the words spoken between fans and the Doctor.
Amy and the Doctor are gazing out at the cityscape at night when she begins explaining "our lives have changed so much. There was a time. There were years when I couldn't live without you. When the whole every day thing would drive me crazy. Since you dropped us back here and gave us this house, we built a life and I don't know if I can have both." The Doctor asks her why.
I think she replies with "because we got each other, because they pull at me and the travelling is starting to feel like running away." He says, "that's not what it is" and I think she says, "Oh come on. you get four days and a large part of you goes crazy." That's when Chris kills you.
"I'm not running away. But this is one corner, of one country, one continent, on one planet, that's a corner of the galaxy, which is a corner of the universe, which is forever growing, shrinking, and creating, and destroying and never remaining in the same way for a millisecond and there's so much, so much to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things. I'm running to them before they flare and fade away forever. It's alright. Our lives are never the same. They can't. One day soon, maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while."
Then Amy asks, "Then why do you keep coming back for us?"
Matt breaks your heart with "Because you were the first, the first this face saw, and you're sealed onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be." I'm running to you and rory before you fade from me."
And for us fans who started with Matt, this sentiment couldn't be more true.
When we see the Doctor lean on Amy and Rory and say, "Look, I know, you both have lives here, beautiful messy lives. That's what makes it so fabulously human. You don't want to give them up. I understand." and Brian interjects "Actually, it's you they can't give up, Doctor." you know he is right.
The adventures are magical and they can take us to places we have never seen and explore areas within ourselves, but nothing compares to Matt. He is the one we want and it is he that we can't give up. Somehow hearing Mark Williams say the words only resonates more with you as an audience as you prepare for Matt's departure. It is our moment to say to him "I don't want to go".
We move onto Moffat and he gives us two heartbreaking scenes as well.
It's so hard to say goodbye.
It's always difficult to see a grown man cry, but I think it hurts more because Matt performs it so perfectly. We just witnessed our companions leap off a building and then vanish. It is at this moment our emotions seem to transfer from the companions to the Doctor. Normally, Amy and Rory are our voices, but now the Doctor expresses what we all feel.
The entire episode couldn't work as well without the brilliance of Alex, Karen and Arthur. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. If any of you have rewatched these episodes before our big day, I'd love to hear how they affected you.
TRIVIA
If I were to recommend any episodes at all before The Day of the Doctor, these two would definitely be on my list. They both feel like a farewell not only to the companions, but to the Doctor himself. There are mentions of Zygons, which we will see in the special but also allusions to The Eleventh Hour and Christmas Invasion.
Inspired by MSC Napoli and The Man Who Came To Dinner, Chinball wanted to focus on Amy and Rory before they said goodbye. According to the Wikipedia page, "Because of this schedule, it was the final episode Gillan and Darvill filmed as Amy and Rory.[16] Their last scene filmed together was getting into the TARDIS with the Doctor after saying farewell to Brian;[1] when the doors closed Gillan, Darvill, and Smith hugged and started crying."
It was Matt's idea to deliver the line about Twitter with disgust as a remark on why he stays off social media. You can however read his mom's tweets here and his sister's tweets here or mine here
Moffat struggled with writing The Angels Take Manhattan and wrote various endings for the piece. Karen insisted she wanted to go out with a bang and in a way that would not allow her to return to the series as it would diminish her farewell. The cast and crew were not expecting such a huge turn out of fans in New York and had to make sure nothing would be spoiled. Karen leaned in and whispered one page of script and made up the rest during the epilogue scene while Matt held up a fake page just in case someone tried to take a picture of it.
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